I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
