he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
