He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
