I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
