I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
