Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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