Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
