Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
All I want is dick and wine.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
