I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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