Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
