I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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