I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
