Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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