yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
