If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
We're not piercing ourselves today.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
