whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
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