if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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