Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Randomize
