Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
