Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
