we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize