mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
