Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
