For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
