she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
