You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
