its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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