What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
