It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
