We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
