Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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