who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
