but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
