There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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