I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
