this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
