I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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