wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
