He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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