1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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