Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
