period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
