Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
