Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
