Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
