I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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