Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
