I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
