I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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