Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
