Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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