that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
