how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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