whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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