Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
