We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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