guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
