You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
