She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
