Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
