why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
