Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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