I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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