Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
